Life would be difficult if you dont have friends you can trully trust or friends you can count on when your in need...
I never really expected that i would find that right friend for me. I mean, while i was growing up I had many friends who ended up not being my real friends. There would always come a time where we would pass by each other in the corridors and act like we don't know each other anymore, despite the fact that almost a year ago we were always together. By the time i reached my final year of elementary i guess i finally stopped trying to be friends with anyone. I remember having Suzanne as my first friend in that classroom filled with kids who just really didn't have much care in the world yet. And not until it was the 3rd quarter (i think) did i finally become friends with anyone else in that class. But i was lucky to be friends with them cause from what memory i have left of that time, i think i was becoming more and more confused. They helped me straight things out.
Highschool was a different story though.
I was always with my bestfriend issy. And i didn't really made effort on making friends with anyone else but her. I still talked with zane, diana and karlo, still I wasn't that open. I seldomly went to school. My life back then was little by little going nowhere, and nobody could save me but me.
I took a breather after my first year of HS. That totally cut me off with my friends. I worked the whole time i was out of school. Still i was having lots of difficulty cause i had to break up with a boyfriend. And i wasn't ready for that, the relationship was just starting. So that added up to everything i had to deal with.
When i came back to school. I was a year late of course. My old friends welcomed me back. Karlo was always smiling at me in the corridors. I found new "kid" friends. The way they deal with things was something i had to get used to at that time. I really felt old going to school everyday with them as my classmates. But I loved that class. That was the only class i've been to that I felt really welcomed. For one fact that i was one of the smart kids. hehehe.
I thought things would continue that way for the rest of my highschool years, but sadly it didn't. 3rd yr was the worst year i'd ever had with-having-friends-in-a-classroom side of it. I was stuck with the worst section of that year. I hated that section. Good thing i joined a club that i fell in love with CTAC.
I lived, breathed and eat CTAC at that time.. heheh.. I guess you could think that i isolated myself with that area only. I never regreted it. I reckindled my friendship with diana, edel and karlo. Created new friends eunice, colin, dianne, marbob, ra, zoilo and lots of kids. hehe. I remembered how to have a crush with someone again when i joined that family. And i started to trully heal from all the pain. There was no time to think about pain, sadness or anything negative when i was there. But there was a lot of drama, it is an acting club so what do you expect diba? hehehe.. But the real friendship was the ones built after CTAC days (as we all call it). We were the ones who was always together. After class, after exams, prom.
As they say all good things had to end. Of course they had to graduate. I was left there with the kids. By this time I have healed almost all my emotional garbage. I ended up falling for someone that summer. And lucky me he was able to catch me before i trully fall flat face down on the ground again. Aside from that i have made friends or created a bond with a barkada pero i think of them more as my family.
My Chorkada/Chorb family consists of Christiane, Unica, Diana, Bejamin, Gabrielle, Karlo, Eunice and our bunso Andrew. My family is not the family you would expect. We work hard and we play hard. Our personalities, family backgrounds are all very different. But we do have the same morals. We know what is right from wrong. What we can and cannot do. We know how to respect one another. And we are all REAL.
I never expected i would meet people like them. When i finally stopped trying, i meet people who lets me in on their lives and show me how lucky and beautiful this life can be.
This is a thanks to everyone who saved ME from being drowned by my own independence. You guys helped me see things in a different perspective. You showed me that i'm not alone and that a quiet voice can be heard in a room full of people. And that absence of someone doesn't really mean that they're gone forever but its just a little obstacle until you see each other again.
People i wasn't able to mention but needs to be mentioned.
Wati, Joyce, Leycel, Mapoy salamat at tinulungan niyo akong mag survive nung 4th yr tau. hehe. Salamat din kasi marami ako natutunan sainyo. Salamat din sa pagtitiwala niyo sakin.
Currently listening to: Tonight
Currently feeling: hopeful